5/30/96 - 80's night

[80's retro dance nights were still somewhat of a novelty in 1996. Throughout the early-mid part of the decade, there'd be at least one a week at one of Santa Barbara's hipper dance clubs: Zelo, Revivial during its short life, and finally, Fathom, which passed for S.B.'s first large-scale gay disco. When Revival was happening, circa 93-95, my good friends at the time, Jessica, Michelle and Vince, and I wouldn't miss it. Jessica and Michelle were best friends from junior high on, and were weaned on the proto-alternative of KROQ Pasadena-Los Angeles. I wasn't too into any radio while in high school, so I played a lot of "catch up" in the 90's, trying to understand the musical timeline from the Sex Pistols to Nirvana, and where the hell everyone from the Go-Go's to New Order to Sinead O'Connor fit into it.]

[In 2000, the distinction between "alternative" and "mainstream" is so blurred as to be meaningless. But it really meant something once.]

5/30/96 - 1810 Chapala - 12:33 A.M.

I needed tonight more than I could have guessed. For months I've been missing really letting loose while dancing, and tonight, possibly for the first time since Revival closed, I was able.

Matt Armor DJ'ing...Dead or Alive...New Order...ABBA...Big Country..."Come On Eileen"...The Go-Go's...how could bouncing around to those sounds be such a catharsis? A necessary release?

I've been feeling so hemmed in, so presented with so few choices. The permission just to let go, to feel the nostalgia, to dance the [incredibly dorky!] way I learned to dance...

[Oh, gross, this entry just shows I should just PUT THE JOURNAL DOWN when I'm drunk and it's late.]...I recaptured a bit of that ecstasy tonight, even if it was just with Bernie and Ron and Matt

Why does this music mean so much to me? I didn't even LIKE most of it when it was first released. Now, it brings back a time that I never really lived. I scorned radio and "alternative" types back then, believing I was "nobler" (or something) for performing music rather than slavishly listening to it and following the fashions that seemed to go with it

I sometimes fantasize about being transported back to '83 or '84 and becoming one of those pseudo-punks who listened to Siouxsie or the Cure. What are these people doing now? Are they that different from what I became? So I took a few more years to catch up, to hear what was going on, to replace John Philip Sousa with Nina Hagen.

[I'm finding all of this very embarrassing. Except for John's manic CD obsession, by now I might've sunk back into lethargy as far as current music is concerned...I can't even watch MTV anymore. I' beginning to sound OLD.]

Previously Next