Pete visits 2000

[Update from the present day. My oldest (in duration) gay friend, Pete, visited John and me this weekend. He's been living in the Fort Lauderdale area for the past six years, but just sold his house and is moving to Chicago. He got what sounds like a juicy promotion, and is looking forward to discovering a new city. I envy him his ability to pick up and move across country like that. While my moves to Santa Barbara and San Francisco had their wrenching aspects, California is pretty predictable for those of us who grew up here, especially if you've travelled at all to its different sections, as I did thruout childhood. But Florida and Illinois are so different from California, where he grew up as well, and so different from each other...adapting to those changes is a skill I'd like to learn.]

[Upon turning 21 in Summer 1990, I was ready to make my first tentative steps out of the closet. I had no idea how to proceed; I didn't even know where Santa Barbara's gay bars were, and I was scared to go to one. I was still finding solace in UCSB's band, and had befriended a sax player, Tim. At one of the band's after-rehearsal blowouts at a local beer joint, Tim introduced me to his friend Pete, with whom I established an instant rapport. My nascent gaydar began to hum, but I had no idea what to do with it.]

[The next few months brought several other social functions with Pete and Tim's other non-band friends. One of these was a girl named Lori, who I learned later was famous for getting crushes on gay men. Pete called me one day by her request, and delicately tried to determine whether I'd be interested in her, or him. Well, while I was still in the "I'm bisexual" phase of coming out, Lori was of no interest, and Pete definitely was. He was the first guy I ever came out to with the intention of asking out.]

[At that moment, Pete was dating two freshmen (he was a senior, but he's always liked 'em young), and so was unavailable. We became friends, though, and in short order, he fobbed one of the two freshmen on to me. This freshman, the amazingly silly Sean D., had befriended a transfer student from UC Santa Cruz, Sean M., who has been my most steadfast friend ever since. Sean M. was John's and my roommate here in San Francisco until just a couple of weeks ago.]

[Pete and Sean M. (referred to hereinafter simply as Sean, since Sean D. left the scene pretty quickly) became my first gay friends. Except for Jessica, few of my pre-coming-out friendships survived the transition. An analysis of this process would make a good journal entry for the future. When we found ourselves simultaneously single, Pete and I did try dating for a while, but it turned out we worked better as friends.]

[Several years of good times ensued, both in Santa Barbara and after he moved, first to the South Bay area, then Fort Lauderdale. I always meant to visit him, but never got to it. He's visited several times, however, and e-mail has been a great boon.]

[This visit coincided with one San Francisco's rare sunny August weekends (we get our good weather in September and October). Pete stayed at our newly Sean-less apartment, and after watching Sean, Mike, John and me paint Sean's old room, we went to a friend-of-a-friend's party on a hill above the Castro on Saturday night. Pete huffed and puffed up 17th Street after years in flat Florida. F-of-a-f's party was unremarkable, but there was an amazing pot of gumbo. Yesterday brought lunch in the Inner Sunset district and a sunny walk in Golden Gate Park with Pete; John; Sean; another ex of Pete's, Jason from San Jose; and his boyfriend David, who lives in the city. I met Jason once years ago, and David is new to me. The two of them like to go the Cinch on Polk Street, which is one of John's and my favorite neighborhood bars, so maybe we'll make a couple of new friends.]

[Pete and I watched the "South Park" movie and "Big Night" last night, while John put together a tasty Middle Eastern feast. Pete slept on the hide-a-bed both nights, and dropped me off at work today en route to a nude day at San Gregorio beach and more time in San Jose.]

[And that's us in San Francisco, August 2000.]

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