I Am The Cult Of

[I'm being sucked into a live version of US Magazine: here at the CuteVic, working with 18-year-old Olga and 21-year-old-Timo. It's raining. Olga's looking at celebrity crap online, I'm reading an Evite to a dinner next weekend on an island, Timo's injecting the occasional comment from across the lobby (although most of his attention's claimed by the football game on the bar TV.) Conversation best imagined with Olga's Russian accent, Timo's Filipino accent, and my incredulous California white boy speech:]

[Olga: Did you know that Britney messed around with Ben Affleck while she was still with Justin?
Huntington: Really?
O: Yeeeahh, when he got with J.Lo, he and Britney were fooling around.
H: Oh? Is that what that video was all about?
O: Toooootally!
Timo (earnestly): Good.
H: Why?
T (leering): I like that he was with Britney and J.Lo.
O. and H. roll their eyes at one another, as H. imagines Ben and Justin together.]

[::aims finger at forehead, pulls imaginary trigger:: I gotta get back to school.]

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