Mind the G.A.P., or Ines Likes To Party!

[Finishing up the second week in the ADMIN OFFICE of the Cute Victorian Hotel Around The Corner:]

[Addicted to 98.1 KISS FM, "Old School and Today's R&B," which is not my usual idiom, sir. But we three white queens - the General Manager (whose tassel'd loafers haven't made an appearance lately, thanks to my subliminal reprimands), the Sales Director (a.k.a. Three French Hens) and I - are having such a good time putting lots of shoulder into fare such as "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" and "You Dropped A Bomb On Me."]

[(I never knew the GAP Band's name is an acronym for the three African-American neighborhoods in Tulsa connected to the early 20th century race riots for which a major class action lawsuit is brewing. G.A.P., not Gap. My CivPro professor, who told us reparations definitely would be a major fact pattern on our final, is full of interesting info.)]

[Me n' Olga, the 18-year-old girl who'd just trained me, just took a break at the market down the street. As she power-leafed thru the Enquirer while we shopped for junk food, we came upon the household cleaning products display. "Beeeell!" she screeched in her Russian accent. "It's Freebz! I looooove Freebz!" I followed her agitated finger, and said, "It's Febreze, Olga. It's a bizarre household spray that covers up the fact that you haven't cleaned. We love it at our house." Olga, however, had already moved on down the aisle. After we'd bantered with the extremely cute Ayrab cashier with a backwards Kangol cap, a suspicious thumb ring, and precise facial hair, she smoked a Marlboro while we stood under the awning outside the Friendly Neighborhood Cabaret, and break time was over.]

[A catalog for some Latin festival in San Diego crossed my desk on Wednesday, featuring a dancing bimbo on the cover wearing a yellow halter and matching mini with CHIVAS REGAL Bedazzled across the hem. I loved her so, I cut her out, named her Ines, and taped her to my monitor, because one needs to personalize one's workstation. Ines is my new friend, with her "talk to the hand" dance pose, strappy black pumps, and bare midriff.]

[Now it's time to open the mail.]

Previously Next

[Later: Here's a great way to waste five minutes: The Guardian's British place names quiz. (I got 8 out 10! Grandma, who dearly loved this Yorkshire village, would've been proud.)]