November 23, 2003 - 11:19 AM

But Have I Ever Been To Me?

[Shocking realization while joining Allen for his post-shift cocktail at Martuni's Friday night, as an overwrought song from The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert assaulted us from the loudspeakers:]

[I've been to Nice, and the isle of Greece, and sipped champagne on a yacht. While I didn't move like Harlow when the grandparents took me to Monte Carlo, even at age seven I did show 'em what I'd got (a great French accent.) In addition, I've been to Georgia (well, I changed planes in the Atlanta airport once), have never lived anywhere besides California, and while, to my knowledge, I've never taken the hand of a preacher man, I've most enthusiastically made love in the sun.]

[While I've never been undressed by kings, more than a few queens have succeeded in removing the odd article of clothing, and I've definitely seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see.]

[Oh. My. GOD. Could I be any more homosexual?]

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