Ruinously-procrastinating Huntington

[Every day it's something different. No, that's not quite right: there's probably a set of, like, ten things I do instead of what I should be doing. Work, mostly, but these things also present lovely alternatives to things like housework, exercise, paying bills, etc.]

[Today's is a variation, but a new variation. Today I stood in line too long at Rite Aid looking at the covers of Us Weekly, People, etc., wondering if The Iliad was still known to every Greek child, as every American child used to know all the Bible stories. (Did you know there's a magazine called "Soap Opera Hair"?) Today I'm thinking up Homeric descriptives for today's celebrities:]

[Cruel-mouthed Gwen Stefani.
Ski-slope-cheeked Orlando Bloom.
Always-inflatable Angelina Jolie.
Marriage-oriented Tom Cruise.
Furtively-masturbating Donald Trump.
Tragic-aura'd Jennifer Aniston.
Seldom-bathed Viggo Mortenson.
Sick-of-the-Gap Sarah Jessica Parker
Age-lying-and-defying Catherine Zeta-Jones.
Separated-At-Birth Frankie Muniz and Lindsay Lohan.
Porcine-snouted Nicole Kidman.
Pharmacologically-crafty Paula Abdul.]

[I'm ready for more.]

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