May Day! May Day!

[May 1, 2006, the White House. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales (A.G.A.G.) enters the Oval Office, and sees President Bush carving a lone, lovely star into his two-hundred-year-old desk.]

[A.G.A.G.: I have that Law Day resolution you asked me to draft, Mr. President. Took me five minutes, including bong hits...]

[A.G.A.G. hands Bush the document, and the President starts to read. A smirk starts to curl his upper lip, which had been moving while he sounded out the big words.]

[Bush (giggling): 'Berto, this is too much. "...the risks that accompany the concentration of power..." HAHAHA!]

[A.G.A.G.: I know, right? Oh, wait, check this out. (Points to passage quoting James Madison.) "...the accumulation of all powers, legislative, executive, and judiciary, in the same hands... may justly be pronounced the very definition of tyranny." Hoo hoo ha ha!]

[Bush and A.G.A.G. slap their knees as Bush reads the remainder of the resolution out loud. Finally, they give in to the hilarity and their mouths gape silently as tears stream down their cheeks.]

[A.G.A.G. (recovering first): OK, Mr. Pres...(giggle)...President, we need to get this signed. We want to get something as absurd into the news cycle as all those immigrant activists who think amnesty's right around the corner.]

[Bush: Oh, right. (Wipes eyes, signs resolution) Here ya go. Thanks for givin' me a laugh, 'Berto. My approval ratings are in the bucket. Any idea why?]

[A.G.A.G.: None, Mr. President. You know you're doing a perfect job.]

[Bush: I know that's what y'all are tellin' me, but that Colbert guy the other night...]

[A.G.A.G.: Never mind him, sir. Strictly lunatic fringe. No one watches his show, or that Stewart guy, either.]

[Bush: You've relieved my mind as usual, 'Berto.]

[A.G.A.G.: My pleasure, Mr. President.]

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