The LED back plane doesn't come in yellow, Madam

[I was sitting here during an excrutiatingly slow Friday afternoon, rereading some of Joe.My. God's greatest hits, most of which I hadn't read since they were first posted. I'd just finished the Terrence saga, knowing I could write like that if I would just sit down and do it when the phone rang.]

[ME: Good afternoon, The Place Where I Work.]

[TWENTY-SOMETHING UP-AND-COMING FEMALE VOICE: Hi, this is ____ from One Of Your Pain-In-The-Ass Regular Retail Customers. I want to ask kind of an unusual question.]

[ME (doubting it highly; the wholesale designer lighting business is weirder that anyone would ever think): Go ahead.]

[TWENTY: On your signage, you know, the illuminated back planes with the stainless steel cut-out panels?]

[ME (Yes, honey; I hawk them all the live-long day. But they are nice...see for yourself. If you've got an ultracontemporary home on, say, Shea Boulevard in Scottsdale, Arizona, for which you need address numbers, you really couldn't do better.): Yes, I do.]

[TWENTY: Well...I have a customer who's looking for a custom cut-out. Have you ever done the men's and women's room symbols on these?]

[ME: Uh-huh. I'll have to check the price and lead time, but I don't think it'll be a problem.]

[TWENTY: OK, but what he really wants to know is if you have...or can make...a cut-out that looks like a urinal?]

[ME: What?!]

[TWENTY: Or a man at a urinal...something like that. It's not actually for a restroom, but to hang as some kind of "entertainment piece" above a bar.]

[ME: Oh. OH!]

[TWENTY: I don't think he wants a woman right now...]

[ME: I don't think he does either. I'll see what I can do...]

[Click. I burst into hysterical laughter. Charlotte, after hearing the story, wasn't particularly amused. While an exemplary fag hag, she doesn't go to those kinds of bars.]

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