Survey Sez

[The Life-Experience, After-the-Ecstasy-the-Laundry survey from my Mulhersinha. Not tagging from me; feel free to do your own...]

1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Cell phone, because I have a crappy plan.

2. Where's the best place to eat a romantic dinner?
Out of that certain someone's...OK, no, that's a stunt answer. A pickanick is nice.

3. Last time you puked from drinking?
I don't remember, but I think it was during my last days working at the Friendly Neighborhood Cabaret, my most bibulous job.

4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar?
Never have, but let's not discuss backroom behavior.

5. Name of your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Wittes.

6. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Spending money I don't have.

7. What did you want to be when you were growing up?
An astronaut, a teacher, and an author. Only one of those holds any appeal now, since clearly I'm nowhere near done growing up.

8. How many colleges did you attend?
Two: UC Santa Barbara and New College Law School.

9. Why did you wear the shirt that you have on right now?
It's old and comfy. NB: it's a souvenir from Santa Barbara's gay pride fest...in 1994. I hold on to things.

10. GAS PRICES! First thought?
I like not needing a car. A lot.

11. If you could move anywhere and take someone with you...
I'd sail around the world for a year in one of those hyperexpensive yachts I saw docked in Hydra. Accompanying me would be a rotating cast of best friends, who would come and go as they and/or I pleased. Plus there'd hot and cold running boytoysservants. (This is silly fantasy; I have no real answer to this question, since I don't really want to live anywhere but San Francisco.)

12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
No alarm, but my first thought was: oh shit, I'm really broke.

13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
Was reading a novel, and dozed off with the light on as usual, so my last thought probably was a hazy mishmash of whatever paragraph I was reading and whatever I first dreamt of.

14. Favorite style of underwear?
Box-cut briefs.

15. Favorite style of underwear for the opposite/same sex?
Commando works for me, but also those box-cut briefs. We fags are so narcissistic.

16. What errand/chore do you despise? Doing the goddamned dishes.

17. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer at an art gallery?
I doubt it. I'd probably volunteer for some lefty political cause. > >

18. Get up early or sleep in?
Early, lately, but I like a good sleep-in, especially when curled around something warm, male, and unsnoring.

19. What is your favorite cartoon character?
The Wonder Twins. (What ever happened to the movie?)

20. Favorite NON sexual thing to do at night with a girl/guy?
Talk our throats hoarse. Babble babble babble, solving the world's problems and forgetting it all the next day.

21. A secret that you wouldn't mind everyone knowing?
I only keep secrets I mind people knowing.

??? Um. There is no 22 and 23 so onward we go, I guess.

24. Your favorite lunch meat?
Heath Ledger, ha ha. No, it's dry salami, no contest.

25. What do you get every time you go into Costco?
Considering I go once every two years, it's kinda hard to determine a pattern. But some sort of cleaning product for which I'd never think of paying retail, probably.

26. Beach or lake? Beach. Nude, preferably. Lakes are fine, but the mud that squelches between one's toes always creeps me out a little bit.

27. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual that was invented by people who died at 20?
I think the idea that there's only one kind of real marriage is what's outdated. It wasn't invented by people who died at twenty but by people who needed to dominate women so they'd know they're babies were theirs. These days, I delight in all kinds of unconventional alternatives, but I still believe in covenants that bind people to one another of their own free will. If one goes in knowing exactly what's expected and wanting that, then why not? Note: anyone who graduated from law school knows that a prenup is a lot less unromantic than an acrimonious divorce.

28. Who do you stalk on MySpace?
If I told, I couldn't continue to stalk, now could I?

29. Favorite guilty pleasure? Triple-cream french cheese. Why don't they make quintuple-cream coated in bacon bits? While they're at it...deep fry that sucker!!!!!!!!!

30. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
I have a fondness for The Rocky Horror Picture Show that most of my friends would find either puerile or pointless.

31. What's your drink?
Red wine, margaritas, or the Gayest Drink On Earth, Mandrin Orange vodka with cranberry.

32. Cowboys or Indians?
Cowboys.

33. Cops or Robbers?
Can it be a corrupt cop who bends me over his squad car, handcuffs me, and...

34. Do you cheer for the bad guy?
I cheer for the bad girl.

35. What Hollywood star do you think resembles you best?
I really don't know of any. I don't think I have that kind of face.

36. If you had to pick one, which cast member of Lost would you be?
I'd say Matthew Fox, but why would I want to be more tall, dark and handsome than I already am?

37. What do you want when you are sick?
Reassurance that's it's just a passing thing with no greater significance, know'm sayin'?

38. Who from high school would you like to run into?
A.H. She and I read the George and Martha parts when our junior year English class did Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? and it was a surprisingly intimate experience. After high school she disappeared of the face of the earth, if "earth" = "Sonoma." I'd like to know what amazing things she's done, even if just to writhe in envy.

39. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
No car, but the clock radio's nailed to the local PBS affiliate. Gotta have my NPR in the morning

42. Norm or Cliff?
Sore subject. One of my deepest fears is to end up like Cliff, a barfly full of useless trivia and a sad life whom no one likes.

43. The Cosby Show or The Simpsons?
The Simpsons. Duh.

44. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Not knowing years sooner that I could end it.

45. Do you like the person who sits directly across from you at work?
N/A.

46. If you could get away with it, who would you kill?
No one. Remove from any position of influence, yes. But kill? No.

47. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Gore Vidal, if he promised only to make bilious remarks about other people.

48. What famous person would you like to sleep with?
There are many. Hugh Jackman in his Wolverine makeup, LL Cool J, that Statham fellow in the new Crank movie, Jude Law...oh, on and on and on.

49. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nyet.

50. Last book you read for real?
A Passage To India.

51. Do you have a teddy bear?
I have a stuffed howler monkey, my last gift from John.

52. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
An apartment where I found myself one recent morning, only because it was decorated like Marie Antoinette and Watteau got together and decided just to let loose for once.

53. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
Death Valley.

54. Number of texts in a day?
Varies greatly.

55. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or relationship?
Career. Any new romantic entanglement at this point would simply be yet another way to escape working on what I want to do with my life.

56. Do you go to church?
As long as it has a happy hour, I'm a parishioner.

57. Pencil or pen?
Keyboard.

58. bueller??? bueller??? bueller?
No, you mean Buellton, the small redneck burg north of Santa Barbara, the one with the pea soup place and the avenue of American flags. It's a creepy reminder that Calfornia isn't all that blue a state...

59. How many jobs have you had?
About 15, not counting temp work.

60. What do you want to achieve in life?
Ecstatic bliss.

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