Dissin'

[Well, I guess...no, I know it's nice to be able to put a name to this. What's nicer, and therapeutic in itself, is the feeling that I'm finally doing something about it.]

[One thing I always knew about John's depression was that the major symptom was a total lack of ability to do something about it, a lack that just threw him deeper down the well. That knowledge didn't help me or make me stay with him any longer than I did, but it has stayed with me. My symptoms aren't like John's, but that inability certainly exists with me. I've been waiting roughly three and a half years for the universe to to turn my page, or to find the inspiration to turn it myself. I've been treading water, and never particularly well. Now, the treading is even becoming hit-or-miss.]

[So, I'm tackling it from the other end. If the paralysis isn't causing the blues, maybe it's the blues that's causing the paralysis. Or maybe it doesn't matter. Anyway, there are ways to tackle the blues healthier than what I've been doing up to now, and I'm going to try a couple of them.]

[Before I start sounding like a drug commercial and start listing side effects in low, quick voice while happy, active people indulge in happy, popular activities on your television screen, I'll return you to your regularly scheduled weekend.]

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