Liberace Must Be Laughing In His Grave

[A moment now for the late, just super Tammy Faye Messner, dead today yesterday of the kind of cancer they're trying to stave off in the President. (Sixty-five...my mom's age. As far as I know, everything's fine down there for her.) Since I'm seeing Crowded House with Jessica next month at Oakland's fabulous Paramount Theatre (a building I hope Tammy Faye got to experience), let's have a little something from Woodface:]

Not everyone in New York would pay to see Andrew Lloyd Webber
May his trousers fall down as he bows to the queen and the crown
I don't know what tune the orchestra played
But it went by me sickly sentimental

Can I have another piece of chocolate cake
Tammy Baker's got a lot on her plate
Can I buy another cheap Picasso fake
Andy Warhol must be laughing in his grave

The band of the night take you to ethereal heights over dinner
And you wander the streets never reaching the heights that you seek
And the sugar that dripped from the violin's bow made the children go crazy
Put a hole in the tooth of a hag

Can I have another piece of chocolate cake
Tammy Baker must be losing her faith, yeah
Can I buy another cheap Picasso fake
Andy Warhol must be laughing in his grave

And dogs are on the road, we're all tempting fate
Cars are shooting by with no number plates
And here comes Missis Hairy legs

I saw Elvis Presley walk out of a Seven Eleven
And a woman gave birth to a baby and then bowled 257
Now the excess of fat on your American bones
Will cushion the impact as you sink like a stone

Can I have another piece of chocolate cake
Tammy Baker, Tammy Baker
Can I buy another cheap Picasso fake
Cheap Picasso, cheap Picasso fake

Can I have another piece of chocolate cake
Kathy Straker boy could she lose some weight
Can I buy another slice of real estate
Liberace must be laughing in his grave.

(Copyright 1991, music and lyrics by Finn/Finn.)

[Maybe not in the best of taste considering she died weighing less than seventy pounds. R.I.P., anyway, la Tammy Faye. They broke the mold after you.]

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